Waiting for Graduation

7:32 PM

Dealine dealine dealine. Wednesday is the deadline to collect our revision. And I’m still not done with report. Bab 5 yang terakhir masalah terus.

I don’t even know what else to write there. Can you let me pass this once, sir? Huhuhu.
I don’t know what will I do after these things are collected. Work? Hmhhh I dunno.

Nowadays I just got a result from a writing competition. Well I lost again. It made me feel lost my ground. All my plan that went along, it also vanished.
I don’t know what to do while waiting my graduation and after holiday. I have a plan for after December. But I don’t have any plan for these months before.

If I’m taking a work now, can I go to my planned holiday at December. I really want to do something. I hate sitting all day long doing nothing in my room.
It feels something doesn’t right. I don’t want to be burden to my parent.

But I really want to make improvement for my writing skill. I’m not upset because I lost. I knew it well, I’m not good enough yet. And I still didn’t give my 100% effort to grab the 1st place.
I’m just lost. I don’t know what to do. Sometimes it feels like I hate to live a life because if I do it feels like I’m being burden to my parent.

Ugh I hate my self for being like this. I need to quit thinking like this. I love my self. I really love my self. I’m good. *hypnotizing my self* hahaha.
Yes I know, if you don’t want to be burden so something useful. But how can I do something if I don’t even know what to do. Hmhhh.

I don’t need someone telling me to do something because I know I’ll never listen to it. I need to know it by thinking with my self.
One day I’ll know what I can do for being useful.

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2016 Reading Challenge

2016 Reading Challenge
Deasy has read 2 books toward her goal of 30 books.